Growth isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s quiet — a pause, a question, a shift in how we see ourselves.

I’ve wanted to write about Growth Mindset for quite some time. It’s had such a profound impact on my development so I needed to talk about it in the way it deserves, in a way that will help others see the benefit of it and want to adopt it.

After all, that’s part of what I’m attempting to do here; make a difference, inspire others and make an impact.

After I’d decided this was the topic for my next blog, a few days later I was watching a webinar in the background over lunch (an example of some bitesize development time here!). About to pop out of the room, I heard the presenter say:

‘Personal & Professional development is a lifelong journey’.

It stopped me in my tracks and made me smile because really, it’s that simple right? We are making this expectation of learning and growth a big thing when really, it’s just the acceptance that we are never the finished article, we’re always striving to be better.

Somehow, that alone provides us with a little forgiveness for those days when maybe we could have done a little better or when we are sitting in failure or ‘give up’ mode.

We just need to keep it simple and figure out what’s right for us, right now to help us get to where we want to go or become who we want to be. This led me to reflect on my development into true ‘Growth Mindset’.

A few years ago, after achieving a big promotion on a temporary basis, I remember thinking ‘I’ll never know enough to prove that I’m worthy of being here’.

What followed was a sea of overwhelm after each meeting I attended. Going away, reading policies, inspection reports, theories, models etc in the hope that I’d become more informed on how to do my job because of knowing this stuff.

What I’d neglected to realise was, I’d already got the job because I was hired and I knew what I was doing! Sure, the application of all this theory would help me to do the job well, but I didn’t need to recite it verbatim.

I needed to know where to find it, know how to connect it and know how to connect the right people to it, either as part of my job or to support the development of both them and the organisation.

It took more than a few sessions with a great coach to get to this point of clarity. Some simple questions like:

• ‘How will you ever know everything you need to know?’
• ‘Who’s telling you that you need to have this?’

Ultimately unlocking the bigger question of is it actually a confidence issue? This role was temporary. I only had a certain amount of time to make an impact. I’d created an urgency that no one else was aware of. It became exhausting.

What truly mattered was figuring out the balance here and what it came to was a realisation that confidence can lead to competence (not always, I must add). So, I was keen to gain competence in my knowledge in order to feel confident in my role.

But this brings me back to that earlier point that we’re never the finished article. We know what we know now, but there’s always more to know and tomorrow, there will be even more to know!

What’s important here is application. Taking what we learn and asking:

• ‘So, now what?’
• ‘Now that I know this, what am I going to do with it?’
• ‘How will this help me develop?’

I was first introduced to Growth Mindset years ago by someone who was mentoring my development. I was given resources, videos and a Ted Talk by Carol Dweck, who founded the theory and after digging into this research, it was like a lightbulb moment…

I had been doing this for my whole professional life!

It was only in recent years that I’d really begun to apply it to my personal life too. I was always wondering why challenge and set back never really got me down. It knocked me, for sure, but I was always looking for a way to overcome it. Always exploring a way to improve and move forward.

It also answered some personal questions I had too, as to why I internally judged people who seem to stagnate. Those who complain about the world or their situation but seemingly don’t put any effort into making it better or changing anything. It frustrated me wildly!

These people, from my discovery and research of this theory may lean more towards the ‘Fixed Mindset’.

To help with context, here are the official definitions based on the work of Carol Dweck in the two mindset theory:

• A growth mindset is the belief that intelligence, abilities, and talents can be developed through effort and learning. Individuals with a growth mindset embrace challenges and view failures as opportunities.
• A fixed mindset is the belief that these traits are static and unchangeable over time. Those with a fixed mindset may avoid challenges or potentially feel threatened by the success of others.

You can adopt a Growth Mindset. You aren’t forever ‘fixed’. However, a lot of us do tend to feel that ‘stuckness’ when we are in the Fixed Mindset.

So how do we do that? Well, we can have and apply Growth Mindset every part of our being … it’s not just a work thing, it’s a life thing!

When someone comes to me with a challenge or denial of their ability, with a phrase such as ‘I can’t do that.’ I will simply say to them ‘yet’. 

By adding that simple word to their statement it takes on a totally different meaning. A positive approach to the negativity, an opportunity for growth. It takes it from ‘fixed’ to ‘growth’.

It’s also important to note, this is not a strive for perfection, it’s a strive for growth, for continuous improvement, for learning through challenge and not sitting in defeat.

So, I’ll close with the words of Carol Dweck and ask you to sit and consider where your mindset currently sits. Take some time for reflection to consider where you could make a change to look for the growth.

‘In one world, effort is a bad thing. It, like failure, means you’re not smart or talented. If you were, you wouldn’t need effort. In the other world, effort is what makes you smart or talented. You have a choice. Mindsets are just beliefs. They’re powerful beliefs, but they’re just something in your mind, and you can change your mind. As you read, think about where you’d like to go and which mindset will take you there.’

“So, where might you add a ‘yet’? What belief could you shift, even slightly, to invite growth?”

How many leadership professionals do you know with tattoos? Not just a dainty star or hidden butterfly, but a full sleeve plus more?

Well, probably more than you think! My background is high end ladies fashion retail. Think dresses for ascot with matching hat, bag and shoes. Not the look you’d associate with my current ‘day off’ style.

When I joined as a management trainee, I had one little butterfly tattoo, well hidden on my shoulder. However, I worked with a Deputy Manager who was much more ‘decorated’, very confident with their ink, quite a strong attitude and seemingly quite proud of it. However, they were also a really good people leader.

Yet, under the surface, we were navigating an environment where brand standards loomed large, and tattoos didn’t ‘fit the look’.  We worked for a ‘command and control’ leader – office based, rarely seen by their team except to give orders.

So, when they told the deputy to cover their tattoos with their clothes or plasters, I learned quickly to keep my own hidden. That moment sparked a silent, personal tension: Could I be seen as credible while showing my true self?

However, what I hadn’t seen was my tattooed colleague (and main management influence at the time), pushing boundaries, not displaying true inspiration to others. They led with confidence and authenticity, and their customer service was outstanding. But behind the scenes, moments of arrogance and poor attitude occasionally chipped away at the professionalism they showed in front of others.

So in my 23 year old reflection, I’m now sat wondering, who was I most intimidated by and who was in the right? The deputy or the manager?

My experience tells me that… neither of them were right.

The manager was in the wrong for not seeing the person behind the ink that was on the shopfloor, leading her team and driving great customer service. They were also wrong for leading in the ‘tell’ style, not being seen by their team as a role model and clear inspirational leader.

The colleague was in the wrong for their unprofessional traits behind the scenes. It left me wondering, do we have to wear a mask when we go out on the shop floor?

I also wonder, would my little butterfly have even been questioned if it had gone on display? Was there a personal conflict between the two leaders that I didn’t know about? I’ll never know the answer to that.

There’s an element of leaving ‘life’ behind when we are out there on the shopfloor, representing the brand and putting customers first. As it states in the very famous book ‘Fish!’ by Lundin, Paul and Christensen:

Choose Your Attitude

Be Present

Make Their Day

This philosophy was adopted by my brand and became our customer service mantra. It helps us to stay focused on what we are there for and our purpose at work. But I do believe we need to bring some of our true self to that as well. Something, I feel neither my manager nor my deputy manager did very well.

So, why am I telling you this?

Well, on those days when I choose long sleeved tops to cover the ink, these two people often buzz into my head and leave me feeling like I can’t show my true self. Now, I should say at this point, my ink is simply a meaningful display of inspiration, music, song lyrics, quotes and many, many love hearts… pretty much a live tour through my personal Instagram account!

Because of that, it can open discussions, it often becomes a talking point because they get noticed and then opinions and preferences are discussed… some days I don’t feel like starting that conversation. Some days they are just for me, whether I have them on display or not.

The Grandad Test

Another side note for consideration is my amazing grandad. Now, this man can do little wrong in my eyes. He’s a complete one off, absolutely idolises me and is a continuous challenge of amusement and frustration. He absolutely hates tattoos more than anyone I know!

So, when his beloved first born granddaughter started to gather up the ink at a pace he couldn’t keep up with, he realised he had to start curbing the use of words like ‘disgusting’, ‘awful’ and ‘terrible’. Words that have added to my perception of the rebel image tattoos seem to have.

I took the time to ask him when writing this, why he felt this way… he wasn’t really sure but he was certain that he still didn’t like them! I got the feeling it was a belief or a judgement that he’d built around them. Seeing the people that had them as silly – like, ‘why would they want to do that?’.

I explained to him that there is meaning behind them usually and people use them as a way to express themselves or their passions. He understood but didn’t really shift, even when his only two granddaughters displayed so many and he loved us unconditionally. The amusement of this continued when I asked him, ‘even if it’s a reference to The Backstreet Boys?’, to which he responded, ‘I don’t care if it’s the bloomin’ frontstreet boys!!!’.

Well after that statement, I think it was certain that he still holds the same beliefs, but has certainly come to accept them and understands that having them doesn’t change the person underneath.

Shock Factor

Each job I’ve had, the long sleeves are there then a work night out arrives and the gasps of shock and adoration as colleagues react. Usually with ‘oh wow, I never thought you’d have tattoos’, ‘I didn’t expect that’, ‘they are so cool’ etc. So, if most people know they are there, why do the sleeves come back out for the office, or even for the teams calls?

I’ve sweated through hot summer office meetings and felt unprofessional if people see my tattoos at work.

This reminds me of that representation of the brand from retail days again. Those customer mystery shops and maintaining the professional image. The fear of the judgement is there. But how do people know whether I’m professional or capable based on my image?

I think the question is ‘when is it appropriate?’. For example, you wouldn’t question a musicians capability to do their job if they had full tattoo sleeves. If anything it enhances the image. So, why is it acceptable in some fields and not others?

As I’ve been travelling through this recent career journey, authenticity is becoming a clear value for my brand. And I am my brand.

So, I’ve tentatively had the shorter sleeves out, the Instagram posts show my ‘day off’ style a little more with tattoos on show. It’s feeling a bit more honest. Last year, my first coaching conference in London, I bravely wore short sleeves, keeping close to the reminder that I am representing my brand so I have to be ‘me’.

Recently, I was delivering training at a national event. I was so excited and then I discovered that it would be 30 degree heat with no air conditioning! Frantically looking four outfits that covered my ink, off I went.

Until night one, after a full day in the heat and a long cold shower, I decided to brave it in the bar. My business partner hadn’t even seen the fully sleeve of ink so when I knocked on her hotel room door, I was nervous and ready to explain that I was too hot to wear sleeves… She was so excited when she saw them and guess what, still wanted to be in business with me! I think in my mind, I was worried I’d be seen differently and that ‘unprofessional’ perception again!

But the real excitement came the next day in one of the training sessions. I was talking about self-confidence and being our true selves. I told a much shorter version of this blog to set the scene of what we perceive as ‘professional’ and what it actually means. One of the delegates came to me at the break and expressed her relief at my story. She said she had no idea why but she felt she couldn’t be herself at work and felt she should keep her tattoos hidden. The gratitude and comfort she showed in her feeling of being seen and less alone in this seemed to unlock something within her.

Now, I wouldn’t say that from now on I’ll be fully tattooed up in every coaching session, business meeting, Instagram post or work event. I’m pretty sure it won’t happen when I’m delivering training for other companies.

However, I am feeling braver. I know my worth. I’ve got the goods and all the right stuff to show up as a full on leadership professional. I even just did my CMI ‘Manager of the Week’ interview with a sleeveless top on… but I’m not quite ready for the promo shots to include the ink!

However, they are there, they are part of me and my story and they mean a great deal to me. So, I’m staying authentic and sticking to my brand.

And so, as I close this blog, I can’t finish with anything other than this really can I…

Be the change you wish to see, your passion is your power!