I wrote this in the midst of a chaotic October and I thought it would be a great pre-Christmas read for helping us be intentional with our ‘busy-ness’!

‘I’m so busy!’ How many people do we know that constantly say it to you?! I never wanted to be the person that’s always saying ‘I’m busy’ because what impression is that giving to others?

It gives me the perception that although unintentional, that person is saying to others ‘you’re nowhere near as busy as I am’, ‘you have no idea how much I’ve got going on’ and even ‘my time is more important than yours’.

This is something I try to regularly check myself on… and if I’m slipping, my husband likes to kindly pull me up!

When deciding to take a recent temporary promotion, whilst also running the business I was told at home; ‘do it, because you’ll be amazing, but I don’t want to hear how busy you are for the next year’!

Right now, yes, I am really flippin’ busy!

I’m in a nearly full-time senior employed role, I’m running Yvonne’s Leadership Development as a Coach, Mentor and Trainer with personal and associate clients and I work with a coaching partner on a women’s development project. I’m also a charity volunteer and am studying for a qualification.

I have a never ending list of emails to read, planning, designing, marketing and learning to do – not to mention the dreaded reel creations for Instagram – not my favourite task!

I also have some personal challenges going on. I’m navigating difficult bereavements, some poorly family relatives and an aging beloved pet.

And guess what? I still need to find time for the gym, to make dinner, for grocery shopping, to clean the house and see friends when we can all coordinate busy diaries!

I therefore need space to support my own wellbeing. I will never be too busy for that.

But what I never want to do is to give the impression that I don’t have time for others. As I said earlier, isn’t that giving the impression that what I’m doing is more important than what they’re doing?

We’re all busy in our own ways. 

One person’s version of busy isn’t any more valid than others. Some people have childcare, pet care, school governor roles, hobbies, two jobs, open university, charity work etc.

It’s important whatever it looks like for us or others, we should remember our own boundaries and what’s right for us. And respecting others without judgement. And yet, even with all these different versions of busy, we often underestimate how much ‘spare’ time exists in our schedules. The Office for National Statistics found UK adults spend over 26 hours a week on leisure — proof that even with full-time work, sleep, and exercise, we still hold discretionary hours.

So how are we spending them? Are we using them in the best way for what we need?

There will be times in our life when we can tolerate more or need less. The important element is having the self-awareness to notice that before it’s too late.

So back to where I’m at. As I began my new role at work and a few months in, I was feeling quite smug at the lack of ‘I’m busy’ in my vocabulary, proud of my ability to seemingly be managing my capacity.

Until last week, an amusing situation occurred. In an evening debrief, telling my husband all the things that are going on, he stopped me and said, every week you keep saying ‘I just need to get through this week and then it will calm down… and then the next week comes around and guess what you say?’… oh dear! This appears to be my new ‘I’m so busy’!

The very next day when a coaching client bought the exact same narrative to me for themselves following a conversation with a friend the night before – so coach, navigate that one! I guess us coaches are still figuring it out too!

So where’s the learning?

Some people don’t need a lot to be at capacity and that’s ok. Some people need to feel busy for a feeling of purpose or to keep them motivated, that’s ok too.

We need to look for the opportunities to rest, reflect and consider:

• ‘What do I need right now?’  
• ‘What are my boundaries for my current situation?’
• ‘Am I really busy or am I using distractions to feel busy (and maybe avoiding something)?’
• ‘Is it my mindset or my actual physical being that’s busy?’

So as the festive season approaches, let’s resist the trap of ‘just getting through this week.’ Instead, take the time to check in, don’t over commit if it doesn’t feel achievable.

Let’s own our busy-ness, shape it with intention, and make space for what truly matters.