It’s been a while since my last blog post… you might think after my last one, that I’ve been hidden away writing my book.
I was so excited, so passionate and so motivated to write a story I knew I would love. But since April, I haven’t written a word.
Despite the best of intentions and some excellent coaching sessions to prepare me, I didn’t keep momentum when things got very busy. Well, it’s ok, I thought, November is my deadline. Plenty of time, I’ll get back on track in June once things settle…
Then the world ended. Grandad passed away. Relatively unexpectedly and very suddenly.
How to hold on to every spinning plate when you are spiralling out of control is near on impossible.
Last year, after losing both grandmothers within 2 months, I wrote about stress and grief and the impact they can have both physically and mentally on us. I’ve had this in my mind during these last few months, particularly due to an ongoing shoulder injury causing a lot of pain. It’s all been so much weight to carry.
So many times, my manager has said to me how amazed they are by my resilience. While I’m quick to make light that my only success to celebrate this year is the miracle of no sick leave – is that a success or stupidity?! A little of both I think!
So, two months on without grandad, there’s a gaping hole in my life without him. We were inseparable, there was such a bond between us. I loved all of my grandparents so much, 18 months ago, 3 of them were very much still here… he was the last to go. I wasn’t ready.
When I sat down to write this, I had little to say but I hoped the words might come. As a start, I went to my inspiration notes to see what sparked something in me, there they were – song lyrics can get us through so much.
The first was a note I found that I made after a special event – an acoustic pre-show soundcheck by Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys (in case you didn’t know, my first love!). In the Q&A someone asked him is favourite Backstreet Boys lyric – he smiled and instantly sung:
‘As long as there’ll be music, we’ll be coming back again’
(From their iconic – Everybody (Backstreets Back) anthem).
No matter how far we walk from the path of life, the music always helps to guide us back. Whether it’s to lift our mood, celebrate events, help us feel something or give us the inspiration we need to get back up and keep going. This felt fitting and took me to one of my other favourites from another favourite – Kip Moore…
‘I’ve tried before to just walk away, but the music always makes me stay’
My music, isn’t music itself. In the case of this metaphor, it’s writing. Throughout all of this pain, I’ve not felt any inspiration or interest, just the absolute essentials of work and business. But I’ve known what’s missing, I’ve heard that silent niggle – you need to write, book or blog, ‘just start creating and see what happens’.
Grandad loved music, he loved people around him and he always wanted everyone to feel included and a part of the fun and memories we made. I made a promise in my dedication to him that I’d continue to do that for him.
Music and lyrics have helped me create and shape a very corporate looking concept into a business that is all me – my creativity shines out of it.
And, it’s took me until this point to mention, despite taking my foot off the gas recently, it’s continuing to grow and thrive and build my brand.
I know every minute of work is creating this success, but the foundations are there for me to keep coming back to for the next path to tread.
Ideas are starting to bubble for what the future could look like. I have a new timeline for my employed role, which has given me more space to plan the next chapter of the business, write the book at a steadier pace and most importantly start to heal and enjoy the beauty of life along the way…
The music always makes me stay.
Writing this reminded me that even in the hardest seasons, something always calls us back to ourselves.
We all lose momentum when life shifts beneath us. What matters is recognising the moments that call us back – to our creativity, our purpose, our joy.
What’s the ‘music’ in your life that helps you return to yourself when everything feels heavy?
How Reflection Transforms Learning On and Off the Table
I’ve been inspired to write this months blog thanks to the many snooker tournaments currently filling my tv and a recent visit to the championships. So, I encourage you to ‘take a break’ (pun intended) and enjoy this read.
Watching the championships reminds me how much mastery relies on repetition and reflection — something that’s been front of mind as I begin my new L&D qualification. Whilst I’ve been in the industry for a long time, I haven’t had formal learning in it for around 20 years. I wanted some tangible evidence of the work I’m doing in both my employed and self-employed work and also an up to date learning on the landscape of L&D as a whole.
In a recent training input, the tutor used the analogy that the training session is like a gym induction.
Once you’ve had your gym induction, are you immediately fitter and healthier?
No, what makes the difference is the repetition, consistency and use of that learning.
Remember my quote from a while back ‘Personal & Professional Development is a Lifelong Journey’.
Well this came into my mind again. It’s not one and done! We can’t expect someone to learn something once and become an expert in it, or perhaps even remember it! And in a world overflowing with information, that message feels more important than ever.
Nowadays we’re surrounded by learning noise. Emails arrive packed with links to more resources, social media feeds point us to articles, podcasts, webinars, courses… it’s endless. You could spend an entire day consuming content and still feel like you’ve learned nothing.
How are we supposed to remember it all?
The truth is: we’re not. You don’t have to follow every link, save every post, or absorb every idea. It’s perfectly fine to read something and let it go — and it’s equally fine to dive deeper when something genuinely resonates.
This is where choosing just enough becomes essential. Not everything is meant for you. Letting some things pass you by isn’t a failure; it’s a strategy. What matters is the quality of what you engage with, not the quantity. The growth comes from reflection, absorption, and repetition — not from trying to consume everything that crosses your screen.
With permission, I’m sharing a little real life story about the power of reflection here.
When I first began my coaching qualifications, I excitedly wanted to try the tools and questions out on my husband. It did not go to plan! Now sidenote here, you absolutely can’t be a coach for your spouse or even family members. But for the sake of practice he agreed.
But he resisted the interaction and didn’t see the value in it, once quoting to me ‘I’m un-coachable’.
Oh dear, not a great start when I was seeing great benefits from everyone else!
So, I didn’t try again, but I did press on with my journey and he was there for it all, by my side, watching the growth of me and the business, seeing the feedback coming in, creating great marketing content for me (sometimes reluctantly!).
Around a year ago I noticed him stuck in a loop with his snooker. A game he’s loved all his life – and one he’s genuinely good at. He wasn’t winning games, felt he was letting his team down, not seeing any growth in his practice and it was leading to an anxiety around playing and almost an avoidance. So, conversation style, I gently started with the coaching questions around what was going on. What we got to together was the ‘stuckness’ in any improvement.
The key here was to dig deep on the why and find out what was going on.
Why was it important? What needs to be different? How do I feel when I play? What feelings come up ahead of a game?
Then we can take action. We can know the barriers that are needed to overcome.
I suggested very small journal notes after every game or practice. How did it feel? What went well? What could be better?
And the most important one: ‘What will I do differently next time?’
Over a period of 3-4 months, the transformation was incredible. The enjoyment came back, the deeper understanding of the way he played the game, repetition after repetition of shots. Suddenly there was no anxiety around game nights, win or lose there was still enjoyment. Every reflection from them gave insight into what needs focus at the next practice. This growth is giving him the most important thing: confidence.
This confidence has led him to be brave enough to now do his own snooker coaching qualifications. The next part of the growth journey for him and I could not be prouder.
It was the biggest win for me when he said what a difference the coaching questions and reflections had made to him. And to have him admit that maybe he isn’t un-coachable!
Watching him shift from frustration to confidence reminded me how powerful reflection really is. It wasn’t new cues or new techniques that changed anything — it was the way he started thinking about his game, noticing patterns, and choosing what to focus on next. And that’s where the difference between types of coaching really shows up.
He’s had sports coaching before, but this is where the context of coaching gets tricky. In sports, the coach is expected to know the game inside out. Their role is to teach technique, correct form, and improve the practical skill.
In the coaching profession I’m in, it’s completely different. I don’t need any expertise in the client’s world. The shift happens through the conversation — the questions, the reflection, the psychological insight.
Sports coaching improves the skill. Professional coaching improves the self that uses the skill.
Those sports coaching sessions he’d had weren’t wrong; they were simply focused on technique — mentoring, really. But without reflection on how to apply that skill, what gets in the way, or how mindset shapes performance, the impact only goes so far.
That’s why sports psychology exists: it’s one thing to get the shot right, and a whole other thing to get yourself right.
And that’s exactly what I’m noticing in my own studies too. The content matters, of course — but it’s the reflection, the application, and the mindset that turn learning into growth. Whether it’s snooker, leadership, or L&D practice, the real change happens long after the session ends.
Growth comes from revisiting what resonates — the things that spark something in you — and choosing to practice them with intention.
The reason my husband kept going back to the snooker table and trying was the passion and lifelong love of the game. What the reflection has given is the depth to it and a passion to keep increasing skill and confidence.
A lot of what I’m currently learning in the qualification is how we measure the effectiveness of learning. That’s way down the line after the actual training. By that point how can we measure it if it was so far past?
How do we know what impact that specific training alone made? Because it’s 100% not just the content. No doubt a great trainer can make a difference in the initial spark but to make it stick, we have to digest, revisit and use it to really make that change / improvement.
Every training session or workshop I go to I make notes. I have a book for CPD events where I want to make a difference to / for me and then a book if it’s actually training or study. Why are they different? Not sure. Sometimes the big study one feels too work like to pick up, but I’ve always got time or interest in picking up the CPD book and revisiting things there. Back to the quote…
‘Personal & Professional Development is a Lifelong Journey’.
In the sessions I make little notes or stars next to things from the session, from the trainer or speaker suggestions or quotes from the slides (buy this book, research this topic, listen to this podcast, watch this YouTube clip, include this in a blog etc etc).
Sometimes I forget to come back to it straight away, which is why I need to write so much down. I don’t contain things well so the session will have no further impact on me than in that moment if I don’t have something to come back to and reflect on.
So, what does all of this tell us?
Whether it’s a gym induction, a snooker practice, or a training session, the session itself is only the beginning. The real growth comes afterwards — in the reflection, the repetition, and the choices we make about what to carry forward.
Personal and professional development really is a lifelong journey, and it’s one I’m still very much on.
I wrote this in the midst of a chaotic October and I thought it would be a great pre-Christmas read for helping us be intentional with our ‘busy-ness’!
‘I’m so busy!’ How many people do we know that constantly say it to you?! I never wanted to be the person that’s always saying ‘I’m busy’ because what impression is that giving to others?
It gives me the perception that although unintentional, that person is saying to others ‘you’re nowhere near as busy as I am’, ‘you have no idea how much I’ve got going on’ and even ‘my time is more important than yours’.
This is something I try to regularly check myself on… and if I’m slipping, my husband likes to kindly pull me up!
When deciding to take a recent temporary promotion, whilst also running the business I was told at home; ‘do it, because you’ll be amazing, but I don’t want to hear how busy you are for the next year’!
Right now, yes, I am really flippin’ busy!
I’m in a nearly full-time senior employed role, I’m running Yvonne’s Leadership Development as a Coach, Mentor and Trainer with personal and associate clients and I work with a coaching partner on a women’s development project. I’m also a charity volunteer and am studying for a qualification.
I have a never ending list of emails to read, planning, designing, marketing and learning to do – not to mention the dreaded reel creations for Instagram – not my favourite task!
I also have some personal challenges going on. I’m navigating difficult bereavements, some poorly family relatives and an aging beloved pet.
And guess what? I still need to find time for the gym, to make dinner, for grocery shopping, to clean the house and see friends when we can all coordinate busy diaries!
I therefore need space to support my own wellbeing. I will never be too busy for that.
But what I never want to do is to give the impression that I don’t have time for others. As I said earlier, isn’t that giving the impression that what I’m doing is more important than what they’re doing?
We’re all busy in our own ways.
One person’s version of busy isn’t any more valid than others. Some people have childcare, pet care, school governor roles, hobbies, two jobs, open university, charity work etc.
It’s important whatever it looks like for us or others, we should remember our own boundaries and what’s right for us. And respecting others without judgement. And yet, even with all these different versions of busy, we often underestimate how much ‘spare’ time exists in our schedules. The Office for National Statistics found UK adults spend over 26 hours a week on leisure — proof that even with full-time work, sleep, and exercise, we still hold discretionary hours.
So how are we spending them? Are we using them in the best way for what we need?
There will be times in our life when we can tolerate more or need less. The important element is having the self-awareness to notice that before it’s too late.
So back to where I’m at. As I began my new role at work and a few months in, I was feeling quite smug at the lack of ‘I’m busy’ in my vocabulary, proud of my ability to seemingly be managing my capacity.
Until last week, an amusing situation occurred. In an evening debrief, telling my husband all the things that are going on, he stopped me and said, every week you keep saying ‘I just need to get through this week and then it will calm down… and then the next week comes around and guess what you say?’… oh dear! This appears to be my new ‘I’m so busy’!
The very next day when a coaching client bought the exact same narrative to me for themselves following a conversation with a friend the night before – so coach, navigate that one! I guess us coaches are still figuring it out too!
So where’s the learning?
Some people don’t need a lot to be at capacity and that’s ok. Some people need to feel busy for a feeling of purpose or to keep them motivated, that’s ok too.
We need to look for the opportunities to rest, reflect and consider:
‘What do I need right now?’
‘What are my boundaries for my current situation?’
‘Am I really busy or am I using distractions to feel busy (and maybe avoiding something)?’
‘Is it my mindset or my actual physical being that’s busy?’
So as the festive season approaches, let’s resist the trap of ‘just getting through this week.’ Instead, take the time to check in, don’t over commit if it doesn’t feel achievable.
Let’s own our busy-ness, shape it with intention, and make space for what truly matters.
