Tag: goals

Participate in the process & measure the progress
‘I don’t care about making money, I want to make a difference with this.’

This stopped my coach training mentor in her flow and she paused to repeat back what I’d just said. This resonated and really stuck with me. I’d had a feeling for a while that coaching was my calling – that moment confirmed it.

This conversation was a few months prior to really considering what my business and brand could be aside to from the coaching world.

I worked with trusted coaches, mentors and peers along with hours of self-reflection and research – all helped along by the fact that I’m someone who is obsessed with inspiration.

Sometimes I seek it out, sometimes it comes to me in the middle of a conversation, TV show, song, book or talk. These inspirations give me meaning and guidance and help me bring my goals to life.

When you become a coach, you quickly get focused on goals

The are key in solution focused coaching and the models I was becoming familiar with. If the client has a goal for the session and we successfully work towards achieving it, then we can safely say that the session has been useful.

A few hundred more hours along, my coaching is no longer just about the goal… Sometimes there is other work to do too.

Along with my coaching practice, I was starting to build some goals for myself and the business.

A trusted mentor began gently guiding me to future focused achievements. There was some amusement in some of these sessions too. When I bound excitedly into my online mentoring session with my new logo and branding colours, excited to put it out to the world on social media, Jane’s reaction was priceless…

‘Oh, I don’t think we’re connected on Linked In yet, let me check’.

She pulled out her phone and after finding me, she paused and looked up at the screen to me over her glasses with a warm but firm honesty – ‘Well, you only have 30 connections, so don’t launch anything yet because no one is going to see it!’.

This moment still makes me smile when I look back but it made me realise the power of people in your corner, who you trust to tell you the truth and back you all the way.

While we are never in full ‘tell’ mode in mentoring, there was a certainty in the message from this session – go and make some worthwhile connections. ‘When you’re at 100 – we’ll launch!’.

The accountability along with the consistent, supportive drive and championing of my success markers from Jane got me there and beyond within about 3 weeks!

Along with Jane’s sessions, some excellent peer coaching introduced me to the power of visualisation: When I’m successful…
- Where am I standing?
- How am I standing?
- What am I wearing?
- How am I feeling?
One particular session around this work led to the infamous pink jacket that has become a staple of my brand. From the visualisation, I knew that when I was successful, I would be wearing a pink jacket.

Not long after the business launched, I saw a candy pink blazer hanging in H&M on a London visit with my husband. We were a couple of wines in on our way to dinner and with our mutual adoration of Michael Portillo, we grabbed it for a fun photo op.

But as I looked in the store mirror, that visualisation came back to me…

this is the jacket that is going to help me bring my vision to life!

The first photo I picked when creating my bio and website was of me in the jacket – it somehow represented success – even though at this point I had no paying clients!

But with goals and achievements, it of course takes work. And the achievement of a goal doesn’t always bring the desired effect. The business being a success felt huge – unbelievable even. Would people ever pay me?

So, like with coaching and visualisation, we need to figure out what the goal is and work things back from there.

Big goals like this take focused action over a long period of time. Sounds scary but if you break it down into small steps of progress you can see it clearer. You can then start.
- Success depends on action…
- Action leads to momentum…
- Before you know it, you’re halfway there.
Speaking of Bon Jovi (how long have you got?!)… Thanks to mum, I’ve been in love with Jon and the band from around age 8! Mum and I have a matching Bon Jovi tattoo and I have their music notes around it too. I carry their inspiration with me as a part of my canvas.

Watching their documentary ‘Thank You, Goodnight’ in late 2024 was planned as just a girls night with mum and sister, but with the business and all this goal setting world growing, something landed from the man himself when talking about the early days of the band.

He spent years as a runner prior to his success, sweeping the floors and making the coffee in the recording studios and watching the greats such as Queen and Springsteen at work.

His commitment to observing and learning the craft was inspiring.

And after years of success as a platinum selling musician, the pivot into action was again approached in that same way – start by learning the craft, know it inside out and grow with continuous improvement. Don’t just take the big paid job because of your name.

This took me back to that mentoring conversation. This wasn’t just to build a business to make money. This was me learning a craft and building a grounding to a whole different type of success – personal and professional excellence.

So, feeling inspired that even the greats start way before the starting line, and realising there is possibly some truth in the term ‘It takes 10 years to become an overnight success’, I settled into a sense of pride for the work I was putting in.

But it really resonated when Jon Bon Jovi talked about overcoming his vocal surgery and the way it could have easily the end of his career. For someone with less tenacity, it may well have been, but the mindset work it took was probably more of a challenge than relearning a new way to sing those incredible hits we all know and love.

Clearly a difficult road to travel, his simple phrase stuck with me and caused me to pause the TV and make everyone wait while I wrote it down!

‘Not every day you’re going to win, but every day is an opportunity to participate in the process and measure the progress’.

Knowing one day, there’ll be something in that quote to come back to, I kept it safe.

More recently, I knew I wanted to write this blog but I wanted to wait until I’d witnessed Jon’s return to the stadium stage. And wow, last week did I do just that!

After 15 years away from UK stadiums and any shows of that magnitude, Bon Jovi walked out and delivered 2.5 hours of amazing entertainment, with a presence that simply said ‘we’re not done yet’.

For mum, me and sister (along with the other 65,000 people!), it was the best night we could imagine, but I kind of think it was an ever better one for Jon and the band.
- Goals are set.
- Visions are brought to life.
- Barriers can show up unexpectedly in the shape of huge boulders…
But from what I can see after my years in leadership and L&D and now in business ownership, the sure way to success, to the next achievement or goal (or Linked In connection!) is hard flippin’ work (and a lot of coaching!).

So, learn the craft, put in the hours, find your network, do the practice, and that’s the way there’ll be longevity.

I was right in that mentoring session, I’m not just here to make money. I’m here to make an impact, to craft moments of reflection, emotion and connection that endure long after the session ends.
09/06/2026
Resistance – What’s Needed Now?

Thoughts – ‘I don’t want to write. I can’t think of what to say at the moment. Actually, I don’t want to think about doing any work – even work that I love!’

Noticing that I was resistant to anything over the Christmas period and into January, I thought to myself; well, if I feel this way and it’s part of my career, I surely shouldn’t be posting to others about the expectation of motivation and ‘New Year resets’!

So, I wasn’t even going to write this. But as the weekend began and the plan to ‘take down’ Christmas was ahead of me, I got the niggle of inspiration. And as I wrote those first few sentences, the words came tumbling out.

I’ve always been authentic with what I write and create, so whilst I respected others in the industry that did want to put out email newsletters, blogs, promotions and motivating posts about the new year, it just didn’t feel right for me.

I just kept deleting email after email that was anything about work…

Or about networking event planning for 2026. No thanks, I’m fine right here in my bubble – ‘That’s a next year task’. I also purposely didn’t go on LinkedIn, only Instagram. LinkedIn somehow feels like ‘the office’!

Maybe also, I was a little resistant because it gave me the feeling that I should be writing or creating something. If I saw something great or inspiring, then I’d think I should be doing that too and it would give me a task I didn’t really need.

But even when I thought about doing something, looked through my notes and inspiration to think about what it could look like, it was just a blank page that I didn’t know how to fill… and then I’d let myself get distracted again by the holidays, perhaps with a pang of guilt or panic that the spark wasn’t there but not enough to make me feel uneasy, it seemed that I was internally pleased to be choosing simplicity.

If you recall ‘Choice’ was on my vision board at the start of last year as a key guide for me.

I have been intentional with my choices mostly and when I haven’t, I’ve noticed how different it’s felt.

Throughout autumn, I could literally feel my mind and body screaming at me to slow down. I kept thinking, is this burnout? I don’t think so, but if I had kept up that pace, maybe it could have been. So, when I finally did give my mind and body permission to slow down mid-December, I think they just kept wanting more time. I could have pushed though this and got myself into stuff, I’m sure of it, but instead, I listened a bit and let go of thinking what I should do and instead considered what I needed to do.

A great coaching question to myself here: ‘What’s needed now?’

The last few weeks, I’ve been seeing lots of posts about Wintering, about not rushing straight into the new year with rigidity. I’ve always quite liked January. The feeling of a fresh, blank canvas to create new chapters and I do always like the idea of taking my time and doing some trial and error until the year really gets going. I love the goal / feeling of being ‘ready’ for Spring. That for me is mentally, physically and professionally.

So, I am doing a cleanse – my body is crying out for it! But otherwise, January will be a slower pace: yoga, gym, walks, reading, inspiration and time to really be present before the chaos and pace lands on us again.

And I’m excited to work on my 1% Diary (Stephen Bartlett) over the next 3 months. I’ve set 3 important goals that have been key for me for a long time and haven’t been tackled. But I’ll do these with a comfortable kindness, not a rigid ‘must not fail’ attitude. The diary is very clever in how it supports you to do this.

So, this wasn’t the blog I planned, but it is where I’m at now.

Let’s see where the year goes from here. I’ll be taking the time that I need this January and will keep choosing and following my instincts.

And as you step into your own January, perhaps pause and ask yourself: If I really listened in… what’s needed now?

01/04/2026
Highs aren’t meant to last forever… They’re meant to remind us what’s possible.
The first week of June was unforgettable—filled with moments that fill every part of you with excitement, achievement, and sheer joy.

Dreams really did come true! It was the happiest I’ve been in a long time, after a year of navigating intense workloads, completing qualifications and huge grief, all while building up a business. So finally, I was feeling so excited and accomplished!

But as the final experience that I’d been looking forward to ended, before my return to ‘reality’ I didn’t expect what happened next.

The very next day – the crash

Everything I’d looked forward to was over, the diary for the next three months was packed with work and I felt the sharp contrast between elation and routine, between limitless possibility and daily responsibility more than ever. My motivation was zero for two days, I had a low mood and a terrible headache.

Luckily, I had a knowledge of what was happening – a big crash of dopamine. Intense highs trigger a surge of dopamine, which is the brains driver for motivation and pleasure. This is released more when in pursuit of goals or activities and when they are achieved or over, the levels drop considerably.

This is where self-awareness and our survival kit needs to come out – this will look different to everyone but we must give ourselves space and self-compassion. Support ourselves while our brain recalibrates.

Although the achievement was incredible – when I got into this crash, I then had the feeling that I wish there had been more, I should have done more, said more, been more present etc. etc. Trying to give myself the feeling of it wasn’t as good as it could have been. But my realistic brain is yelling ‘it was still better than you could have ever imagined, so why do you still want more?’

So why does the crash happen?

Anticipation vs. Achievement:

The brain is wired to be more motivated during the pursuit of a goal, with dopamine releases associated with each milestone achieved. Once the goal is reached, the reward system won’t be as active.

Seeking New Challenge:

Humans are often driven to seek out new challenges and goals, making it natural to feel a sense of ‘empty’ or let down after a significant accomplishment.

The day I felt back in some form of normal flow, I won the biggest contract I ever have since I started my business. But the same day I also could have won a second contract, not quite as big but still considerable; but this one fell through.

So what did I do? Focused on the loss, not that absolute win of the first one! Again…why do we always want more?!

As humans we are wired to always be in perfection, anything less is failure. We want it all! But that’s unsustainable and often unattainable.

How do we mitigate the crash?

Focus on the Process:

Shift your focus from solely the destination to the journey itself, appreciating the steps and milestones along the way.

Celebrate Milestones:

Acknowledge and celebrate your progress toward a goal, not just the final achievement, to maintain dopamine levels and motivation.

Set New Goals:

Once a goal is achieved, set new ones to keep your brain actively engaged and seeking new rewards.

Embrace Challenges:

View challenges as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than as obstacles.

Rest and Recharge:

Allow yourself time to rest and recharge after achieving a major goal before setting new ones.

A month later I went for a bigger job role in my employed work, back to my previous department in a role I’ve done before and loved. I got the job, meaning time will be a bit tighter. So not to say everything happens for a reason but I realised getting that second contract would have made work, business and life balance very tricky indeed. Maybe things are lined up for us somehow!

As I’ve moved forwards since this experience, I’m fully back in flow but more equipped for the crash in future! I’m excited to go back to that amazing role that coincides with my business perfectly and I feel like I can make a big impact thanks to my knowledge and experience since I was there last… I’m starting to see that ‘squiggly career journey’ playing out every day, week, month. There is always meanders, flows and disappointments but sometimes there’s amazing high highs and terrible low lows. But that’s all part of the journey and our growth comes when we lean into it.

As I come out of this reflection, I’m learning to welcome what comes from our experiences with curiosity and care. If this resonates with you, maybe it’s time to pause and ask—what does your survival kit look like when the dopamine dips?

Here’s a few takeaways to keep you exploring!
- Self-awareness is your greatest ally: Naming the emotional dip and understanding the neuroscience behind it helps shift guilt into compassion.
- The pursuit holds the magic: Anticipation often brings more dopamine than the final achievement—so joy lives in the journey, not just the finish line.
- Be gentle with ‘what if’ thoughts: Regret after the high is a trick of perception. Your inner voice might whisper “you should have done more,” but reality often says otherwise.
- We’re wired to want more—so notice it without judgment: Recognising our perfectionist tendencies helps loosen their grip.
- Recalibration is necessary, not indulgent: Rest is the bridge between impact and sustainability—build it intentionally.
Let’s honour the highs, embrace the lows, and stay curious in the space between. That’s where growth quietly happens.
07/24/2025