Category: New Beginnings

How do you feel about Imposter Syndrome?

Proceed as if success is inevitable
For some time, I’ve been conflicted with my feelings around the term ‘Imposter Syndrome’. Until recent years when I’ve been finding my way back in the game of my L&D career, it wasn’t something I’d ever really experienced.
And even in this recent time, I hadn’t fully understood it. But I hear more and more about it, particularly when attending women’s development events and within my work with females in leadership or in male dominated environments.
So I started thinking:
Was it just confidence issues?
Was it only females who suffered?
Does it affect other genders?
How does it really feel?
Understanding Imposter Syndrome
Put simply, Imposter Syndrome is a feeling of self-doubt that persists despite evidence of success. A feeling of not being good enough or that they will be exposed as a fraud.
I have certainly felt elements of it throughout my time recently in a high-level temporary role. Despite investment in me as a ‘high potential’ candidate for future promotion, each opportunity only ever seemed on a time limit, was temporary, had a deadline, leaving me feeling that I was never enough.
Why was it so difficult to get anywhere when everyone kept telling me how great I was at my job?
They must be lying
They are saying that to be kind
My feedback isn’t giving me results, no matter what I do… so, is it true?
Experiencing Imposter Syndrome
Just this month I completed an assessment against my management skills. A job I loved and wanted accreditation for to give me professional status.
However, despite the pride I had in my evidence and knowledge I could mostly do that job standing on my head and knew I was great at, the more questions I was asked by the assessor, the less capable I felt, convinced that they were going to catch me out and prove I didn’t know anything; my evidence was all a lie!
These thoughts are so bad for you. On this day, they were terrible for me. I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t commit to a conversation fully and was completely distracted. I was even considering emailing to request another go, before I even knew the outcome, convinced I hadn’t passed.
The result came through the next morning, I had passed and had achieved the accreditation I had wanted so much. Before I properly celebrated that moment, I said to myself:
That’s a relief!
That was lucky
They obviously felt sorry for me!
But what about my evidence and experience of success, what about the sponsorship endorsements I had submitted to go with it, what about my outstanding feedback over the last 20 years? Most importantly, what about the result showing me that I had passed?
Thanks to a wonderful coaching session to unpick all of this, I see that now, but in the chaos of that experience, I had convinced myself that I wasn’t capable or worthy of success. That isn’t good for my mindset, which isn’t good for me to be a success.
Reflection and Moving Forward
Here’s something to ponder on from this reading and how are thoughts can impact our feelings and actions:
Do what you are doing.
You are your actions, and thinking motivates your actions.
That’s why you have to be so careful what you think about.
My Challenge to You
So maybe I do believe in Imposter Syndrome after all, maybe I’m not as immune as I thought I was!
As you reflect on your own experiences with Imposter Syndrome, take a moment to consider:
What successes have you achieved that you tend to downplay?
How can you shift your mindset to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments?
How can you be more proud of yourself and your journey?
Success isn’t always about results, it can be about how you feel about yourself too and recognising your worth and potential. It’s learning what to look for to help us through, to keep going and believing in our own truth… and to proceed as if success is inevitable.

01/22/2025
Embracing Change: My Journey to Finding Purpose in 2024

This year, everything changed.

Some things were so exciting I couldn’t keep still.

Some hurt so bad it was hard to breathe.

But that’s what life is right? That’s how it shapes us.

Finding My Calling
This year, for the first time in my life I understood what it meant to say you’ve found your calling. I truly have found mine and the move towards it now feels completely natural and not at all daunting.
It’s so interesting to look back on the last 20 years to see how I’ve got here. Each twist and turn have led me to this big year of newness that feels so familiarly right. Why does it feel this way? Why do I feel so calm when everything is so uncertain?

The Nature of Change
This got me thinking about change; it’s the one thing that’s inevitable to all of us and yet the thing we’re often most afraid of.
When are we afraid of it? Usually when it’s unexpected and not planned. When it’s a difficult time, this is certainly the case.
If it’s a change that we want, then we put all of our energy into focussing on that result. If we don’t get it, then what? What does that do to us and what impact is that having on us. If we do get the result we want, is it that everything is now ok, we’ve ‘made it’ and can now relax. But for how long? When will we become dissatisfied again and want more; therefore, more change?

Learning and Growth
In the past, I’ve not been one for change, often dealing with it in a really poor way. Blaming others or a greater force (or mostly myself) if I didn’t get what I wanted or felt I ‘deserved’. I tended to be just short of most achievements. Great, but never quite great enough, a second or third best in most situations. Looking back now, I think that’s still pretty good. But just because I didn’t get the ‘win’, the ‘golden ticket’, whether it be the job, the boy, the house, whatever, then it was a fail; I was a failure.

Looking Back to Move Forward

Only now, looking back, I see that it was me that could change it. Not the result as such, but the reaction to it and the story I told myself and those around me about it. The energy around a situation good or bad can impact us and the way we see ourselves and our lives dramatically. This alone, daring to look inwards, is the most powerful learning, I’ve ever done for myself.
A few years down this personal development road, I’ve now began to use this to support my decisions and this is really helping my confidence. I trust my gut more and if I think that something isn’t good for me, even if I might really want it then I’m comfortable with steering myself away from it.

I don’t get tempted to do something just because I feel I should. By gaining that control, I feel better about saying no and understanding that if it doesn’t feel good for me then it’s probably not.

Since doing this, the doors around me seem to have opened up. I’ve put energy into myself and the paths I like the look of. Because they feel good, I’m enjoying them. Because I’m enjoying them, I’m seeing outcomes and positive results. It’s helping me attract the right things to me.

I have no doubt that the next year will bring yet more change. So much of this can be unwanted. This year has been one of my hardest and one of my best at the same time. I’m not sure what to do with that math! But a few years ago, I tore this piece of advice out of a magazine, and I’ve carried it around in my purse. Now I’d like to share it with you as I think it sums up this writing perfectly:

“Don’t stress. Life moves on, No matter what you’re doing, or stuck in, or are feeling, it will change. Just breathe and know that nothing is stuck, there’s always hope. Things always move. Don’t stay stagnant.”

Conclusion: A Challenge for the new year

My challenge to you is to look at what you really want but also what you really need. What feels good, what doesn’t and trust yourself to know what is right. If tough times come, embrace them, sit with it and heal from it. If greatness comes, be proud of it and know that you deserve it.

As we step into the new year, let’s embrace each change with courage and hope, knowing that every twist and turn brings us closer to who we are meant to be.

12/30/2024
Stepping out of My Comfort Zone

Today was my first in person networking event where I didn’t know anyone, safe to say this morning the nerves were huge!

But I wanted to go as me and meet like minded women who love & believe in empowering each other and their businesses. Safe to say I need not have been nervous, I was welcomed in and immediately felt at ease. We all had one shared vision, how to support other women with their confidence, education and barriers and how to engage with allies who can support this journey for them.

I am proud of my business and the work I do, not only with females but with all individuals, everyone brings a different story, challenge or situation that we work through together in partnership.

I often talk about self development first and leading yourself before you can lead others. I’ve worked on this for myself in the past, doing it again for this new journey and the results are amazing… I’m buzzing with ideas and new connections but mainly I’m very proud to have found my purpose and finally feel like the last 20 years has led me to this. I’m in the right place and on the right path… who knows where the destination will be!

10/08/2024