It’s been a while since my last blog post… you might think after my last one, that I’ve been hidden away writing my book.

I was so excited, so passionate and so motivated to write a story I knew I would love. But since April, I haven’t written a word.

Despite the best of intentions and some excellent coaching sessions to prepare me, I didn’t keep momentum when things got very busy. Well, it’s ok, I thought, November is my deadline. Plenty of time, I’ll get back on track in June once things settle…

How to hold on to every spinning plate when you are spiralling out of control is near on impossible.

Last year, after losing both grandmothers within 2 months, I wrote about stress and grief and the impact they can have both physically and mentally on us. I’ve had this in my mind during these last few months, particularly due to an ongoing shoulder injury causing a lot of pain. It’s all been so much weight to carry.

So many times, my manager has said to me how amazed they are by my resilience. While I’m quick to make light that my only success to celebrate this year is the miracle of no sick leave – is that a success or stupidity?! A little of both I think!

So, two months on without grandad, there’s a gaping hole in my life without him. We were inseparable, there was such a bond between us. I loved all of my grandparents so much, 18 months ago, 3 of them were very much still here… he was the last to go. I wasn’t ready.

When I sat down to write this, I had little to say but I hoped the words might come. As a start, I went to my inspiration notes to see what sparked something in me, there they were – song lyrics can get us through so much.

The first was a note I found that I made after a special event – an acoustic pre-show soundcheck by Nick Carter from Backstreet Boys (in case you didn’t know, my first love!). In the Q&A someone asked him is favourite Backstreet Boys lyric – he smiled and instantly sung:

‘As long as there’ll be music, we’ll be coming back again’

(From their iconic – Everybody (Backstreets Back) anthem).

No matter how far we walk from the path of life, the music always helps to guide us back. Whether it’s to lift our mood, celebrate events, help us feel something or give us the inspiration we need to get back up and keep going. This felt fitting and took me to one of my other favourites from another favourite – Kip Moore…

‘I’ve tried before to just walk away, but the music always makes me stay’

My music, isn’t music itself. In the case of this metaphor, it’s writing. Throughout all of this pain, I’ve not felt any inspiration or interest, just the absolute essentials of work and business. But I’ve known what’s missing, I’ve heard that silent niggle – you need to write, book or blog, ‘just start creating and see what happens’.

Grandad loved music, he loved people around him and he always wanted everyone to feel included and a part of the fun and memories we made. I made a promise in my dedication to him that I’d continue to do that for him.

Music and lyrics have helped me create and shape a very corporate looking concept into a business that is all me – my creativity shines out of it.

And, it’s took me until this point to mention, despite taking my foot off the gas recently, it’s continuing to grow and thrive and build my brand.

I know every minute of work is creating this success, but the foundations are there for me to keep coming back to for the next path to tread.

Ideas are starting to bubble for what the future could look like. I have a new timeline for my employed role, which has given me more space to plan the next chapter, write the book at a steadier pace and most importantly start to heal and enjoy the beauty of life along the way…

The music always makes me stay.

Writing this reminded me that even in the hardest seasons, something always calls us back to ourselves.

We all lose momentum when life shifts beneath us. What matters is recognising the moments that call us back – to our creativity, our purpose, our joy.

What’s the ‘music’ in your life that helps you return to yourself when everything feels heavy?